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My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer about a month ago. I've been putting it out of my mind because denial is far easier than having to deal with the reality of the situation. Or should I state that denial is perhaps the first phase of accepting a harsh reality.
My mother and I have bumped heads continuously throughout my life. We are very much alike. I think I'm more like her than my father. Sometimes she makes me so freaking angry that I want to tear my hair out. For example, she doesn't tell me stuff. Technically, she has yet to tell me she even has cancer. Of course I knew from other family members but the fact that she withholds information from me just drives me bonkers. She's my mother and we only get one. She is the one who bore me and brought me into this world. We can all exist without a father being present in our lives but for the majority of us our mothers are the only thing that stood between us and certain doom in this life.
My mother is having a mastectomy on Tuesday. I know she's a fighter and she will pull through. However, I would appreciate any prayers, well wishes and positive energy that my readers would like to send for her. Her name is Linda.
As a man I know that I'm going to be oblivious to many of the struggles that women have to endure in life. I also know that women are likewise oblivious to many of the struggles that men face. I hate the fact that cancer is one of these. The very notion of cancer linked to just being female (or male) is just absurd to me. I mean, I think we all can understand lung cancer from decades of smoking or liver cancer from decades of alcoholism. But to develop cancer that is linked to just being "XX" is freaking nuts. I don't understand what mother nature was thinking when she concocted that aspect of human existence. I feel the same way about prostate and testicular cancer for men. I feel even worse for children with cancer.
They did tests and determined that the cancer was fueled by her hormones and so they told her that her choices were chemo followed by being on hormone blockers for the rest of her life, which is completely horrible because it transforms you into a different creature and also effects your mind, or she could have surgery. She chose the surgery. We are also looking into options for reconstruction. They have made a lot of advances with that aspect and now it's routine for tummy tucks to be done and the tissue used to reconstruct the breasts so that the results are surprisingly realistic and natural looking. The only thing I'm concerned about is that they are only doing one breast. I mean, I can only speak for myself but if I was a woman and was diagnosed I would want the peace of mind of having a full mastectomy and not having to possibly go through round two at a later time. But it's not my call.
Next Sunday, July, 31, 2016, at 7:00 pm CST, I will be holding a pink candle vigil service for any woman who has survived breast cancer or reproductive cancer. I will also be setting angel lights in memory of the brave women who have passed on. Any of my readers can participate by sending me an email to MySecretHoodoo@mail.com with the subject line of "Pink Candle Vigil Service", along with the name of the woman. Pictures can also be included if you so chose. If you have a loved one who has non-reproductive cancer, feel free to join in as well as I won't turn away any request for this. If any of my readers would like to join me by setting their own lights in their homes that would be wonderful as well.
Additionally, if you can afford it then please consider donating to the Susan G. Komen foundation or similar programs and charities that help combat breast cancer with research and prevention. There are also programs that provide free mammograms to women who may otherwise not be able to have one. It's extremely important that we support each other, men included, as we are either women ourselves or we owe our lives to women. One in eight women will develop breast cancer in their life time and we need to drastically reduce this number.
God bless each and every brave woman touched by this. You were heroes long before this and will continue to be such.
(For the men out there who have been diagnosed with breast cancer, feel free to join in as well. Although statistically smaller with only one in one hundred men diagnosed, your struggle is the same.)
October is breast cancer awareness month.
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